It's all about Pizzazz~

Send this unstated message to your kids as often as possible:

“You get most of the pizzazz in life when you’re behaving well…
and very, very little pizzazz when you’re misbehaving.”
~Charles Fay
From “Angry and Oppositional Students”

  • Anger and frustration, on your part, over schoolwork is Pizzazz!

  • Every time you spend most of your day showing your toddlers how upset and exhausted you are over their misbehavior's ....that's pizzazz.

  • Using lots of words and body language to lecture your teen about their cell phone use, yep, Pizzazz with a capital P.

How much of your day are you expending on this kind of energy?
Save all that energy for the good times. We can all become addicted to the adrenaline rush of anger and frustration, just as much as the adrenaline that comes from joy,love, accomplishment. 
When our children's actions become more frustrating to us than we would like, you might try the following:
Recovery: "This isn't acceptable. Can you pull it together or do you need to be somewhere else? Thanks."
and WALK AWAY. No pizzazz. 
Delayed consequence: "Honey, I don't like your behavior right now. I'm upset and will need to do something about this. But I'll take care of it later. "
This is not said to correct the behavior immediately. I'm just trying to keep from ringing her neck right now. I'm really at a loss of what to do but I desperately want to keep my cool. So I try to use few words with actions to follow later when we're both in "thinking mode". No pizzazz.
Energy Drain: Solid generic consequence later in the day/week/month when you are literally too tired to do what your kids need you to do because you had to listen to the whining, or you were worrying about them being disrespectful to their Grandma because of the way they treat you, so they won't be going to Grandma's.

Save the Pizzazz for the Good Times.

1 comment:

Craaaazy Laaady said... is it that you seem to know EXACTLY what problems I am facing this week. I am completely worn out with the drama and fits of my kids. My daughter threw herself on the floor and screamed bloody murder because I asked her to write a letter to her friend....are you watching me? Heather Jensen IDVA


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