Not Around Me

I know as a mother I had guilt for years that my children would fight. Until I realized that home is a great place for them to learn how to get along with cranky (me, sometimes), unfair, rude and mean people. I'd rather they practiced at home dealing with these issues then sending them out on their own one day and they find they have a boss who is mean, rude and unfair. If they can learn to deal with this at home in constructive ways, all the better.

Does it mean that YOU have to listen to it all day? NO. Kids fight where it's safe. They usually feel really safe around you so they let it fly. See this
post for how one mom handled it. My mantra is: Not around me. I go after the problem that I can control which is, they are bothering my eardrums.

I'm not into being a referee. I have better things to listen to and enjoy. If my children want to sing around me, great! Fight and argue with each other? Not so great.

You ask, "What about the child who is getting picked on?"
There is no better place than at home to figure out how he/she is going to handle being picked on all the time. Are they waiting to be rescued? They might take that attitude in life and wait around for SOMEONE, anyone to rescue them. The time to talk to the child who appears to be doing all the NOT when the incident occurs, but later on when the emotion is gone and the odds are higher that listening will actually take place with the aggressor.

What about during school hours?

Not an option in my schoolroom. Kids who want to fight and argue can go somewhere else, far, far away from me. A mom told me this week that she has TWO recovery areas now, Pizza Hut and Little Cesars. Pizza Hut is in the bathroom and Little Cesars is in the garage. You want to do all you can to maintain the integrity of your schoolroom. Having kids messing around and/or fighting doesn't help learning occur in that area. They need to be gone. The clock keeps ticking and whether they finish up with their schoolwork is up to them. But as I always say.............their life comes to a screeching halt if their 'job' is not done for the day. The sooner I'm okay with them NOT getting their work done on MY timetable, the sooner I will be able to hold them accountable.

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