More Week 1

"I have four children age 7, 6, 3, and 20 months and I am expecting number 5 at the end of March. I wanted to be able to homeschool my kids for the long haul, but I started feeling completely overwhelmed and not capable of having all of these children with me all day. I was finding myself wearing thin of patience and understanding for my kids and really worn out with being pregnant and trying to keep up with the every day duties of a mother, wife, and teacher of my children. However, I am so glad for this week, because it has been such a nice change for me to practice showing empathy for my kids, to allow them to make mistakes, and practice the "Uh, Oh" song with my 3 year old.

I actually had practiced something similar to this when he was littler, but he didn't get to choose if the door was open, only when he was able to come out, because he had stopped his temper tantrum. So we did the song and made the bathroom the designated "Pizza Hut" and he got to choose whether or not he could have the door open or not. I practiced showing empathy for him and it was really difficult for me not to ask him what he did wrong and how he was going to change his behavior. This little song really helped my attitude towards his behavior. I was much more positive and had alot less tension overall. It takes alot less energy to be calm, cool, and collected and to allow my kids to take responsibility for their own actions.

I have had a lot more energy this week and more control of my emotional state. And my 3 year old has improved his behavior. My kids have made so many mistakes this week that I have had many opportunities to practice empathy.

One example is a when my 3 year old, who has been potty trained, decided that he shouldn't have to go on the toilet to go to the bathroom. He's been pulling this stunt for several weeks now and it has driven me batty. Anyway, because he had made this choice, I told him that kids who pee their pants couldn't go outside to play with their friends. He was very sad, but I showed him empathy and loved on him instead of getting upset and losing it and it seems as if he may decide to do better at keeping his pants dry. I suppose we shall see how long it takes for him to learn from his mistakes. "

1 comment:

ali said...

Deslynn and Dave,

I just wanted to thank you for your Love and Logic class geared toward homeschooling families. And - for this blog!

I am attending your class this month and I am loving it. I have an older son who has Reactive Attachment Disorder. We've been trained in "Nancy Thomas Parenting" which uses many of the L&L ideas. I just didn't realize how many until now!

I am excited because I've realized that I really am a good mom! And the reason is because I have always used L&L with my two younger boys (who are healthy and respond to L&L beautifully.)

But I had let a few things slide. Especially in my new role as Learning Coach (homeschooling is new for us); as I hadn't entirely figured out what my place was, or what the kids' place was.

But with the help of your class I'm getting the confidence back that I needed to believe in the parenting techniques that have served me well for so long and I am feeling empowered and ... so are my boys!

I am very grateful for your service to us. Thank you! Thank you!


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