Friday

"Yes, but I didn't chomp!"

Last night my children went to bed as usual. After about 10 minutes my youngest son started complaining from his bed, at the top of the stairs, that his brother bit him. Now I have to tell you that I am proud to say that I don’t have children that bite…never have. So, when my 4 year old shared this, I was shocked and found myself getting more angry by the second. My 7 year old knows this is not acceptable and, he was across the room! Not only did he bite but he got out of bed, crawled into Trevor’s bed and BIT him.
I would call that premeditation!
My husband and I jump from the couch and start up the stairs. I am in the lead. As we make our assent I hear Darren say, "Don’t yell!" I turn to him and start chanting, "love and logic, love and logic". We walk into the boy’s room and just stand there and observe.
Michael is now back in his bed looking real guilty.
I simply asked, "Michael, did you bite your brother?"
"I, I, I" and the explaining started to come oozing out of his mouth.
I stopped him and calmly said, "This is a yes or no answer son."
"yes, but I didn’t chomp…"
I went on to say, "Michael, don’t worry about it now. We will take care of it in the morning." We said our goodnights and went back down stairs. We did not hear from Michael for the rest on the night.

Darren and I were able to decide what to give as a consequence and talk about how we would handle the morning. In the morning while Michael was eating his breakfast I simply stated that he knows right from wrong and made a mistake, therefore he would receive the consequence of no computer for a week. He said ok and there was no discussion or argument. We went on happily with our day. I LOVED IT!!!

The delayed consequence is so powerful with very little effort. The unspoken word was really all we needed.

I have to add that in the car on the way to school Michael shared that he was really glad I took away the computer. That if I took away the TV he would " just die!" I told him that was interesting to learn. I would not change my mind this time but he can be assured that the next time he gets a consequence, it will be the TV. The eyes got big!!
I am almost looking forward to that because it will be a huge lesson…I think I’m getting it!

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